thatonewannabechef: ihavethisknife: stopscopysme: serialjapist: malenkydevil: wolfpangs: brynnely: zero-pointefmanipulator: ATTENTION INTERNET: THIS IS A PENGUIN BEING TICKLED. For Brynne Thank you, love. That made my night. :D MARIA!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I WILL TICKLE THE HELL OUT OF THAT PENGUIN. BABY! it sounds like it’s having an orgasm OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT IT...
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like sugar...
The United States of America on college education
Student: I'm not going to go to college because I don't want to go into debt.
USA: YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU'RE GOING TO AMOUNT TO NOTHING YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG. YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY TAXES ARE SO HIGH.
Student: I'm just going to attend a small community college instead.
USA: HAHAHA YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY. ENJOY YOUR MCDONALD'S DIPLOMA.
Student: I attended a four year university and received a diploma in a field I am interested in. Now I am $50,000+ in debt.
USA: YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE A USEFUL MAJOR EITHER. GOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.
Anonymous asked: As a guy, I just want to put it...